When you have wronged me, and you have deeply hurt me, or someone I love, and I still hug you, and I tell you I love you, it does not mean my heart is no longer hurting, nor does it mean I condone your actions past or present.
It simply means that there isn’t anything you can do to make Jesus and me not love you. It means I have forgiven you, or I am trying to, whether you have asked me to or not. It means that I understand we have all done things we wish we hadn’t done, and sometimes we just can’t admit it, or we simply aren’t ready to.
When I am silent about my hurt, and I simply love you quietly from afar, it does not mean I do not know what you have done and are doing. It means I know you aren’t ready to hear it – that your heart is not in a place to receive truth. And I am silently praying for that day to come, before you have done so much damage to yourself that it is irreversible.
When I say I miss you, it doesn’t mean it is ok for you to keep hurting me. It means my heart is aching for the you I was close to. It means I remember all the good things about you, and I treasure those in my heart, and that, though things may not presently be ok, I believe that with Jesus, there is always great hope. And it means that, if and when you wake up and survey all the damage you have done, the wrecked hearts you have left in your wake, you will have no need to fear that the door has been shut – because you are already forgiven. And welcomed. The door for restoration is always open, with no condemnation, no strings attached. I will always be overjoyed to see you return.
Because Jesus did that for me. His heart is always with me, and it keeps mine soft. His arms, always open, ready to receive a broken, repentant heart, no matter how far we have strayed.
And that is why, even when you continue to hurt me, I can still say I love you, and mean it with all my heart. Because the love is not mine. It is Jesus’ love. The love that always trusts, always hopes, always believes.
So yes, I love you. I miss you. You are precious to me. You always will be. Because my heart is safely kept in Jesus’ heart. And His Love never fails.